Just Show Up

Many times we think it: “I could be better.”

A better runner. A better partner, a better sister, a better mentor, a better coach. I could be better. 

Instead, I do the best that I can, when I am able, how I am able. 

This has meant showing up: to the treadmill on icy cold Minnesota days to get a speed workout done; to the community event with my trans mentee through Bolder Options; alongside my partner as we dream and plan for the future yet try to live in the here and now; over the phone with one of my seven sisters as we share honestly about our feelings; with clients as we explore their lives and emotions and possibilities of what lies ahead. 

I don't think there is a world where we have to be perfectly aligned, fully alive, or as vibrant as they come in order to make a difference. We don't have to stand on all ten toes all the time or never wander or stray from a plan. 

There is only a world, though, where we can do the best we've got in the moment with what we have. 

It's been cold here in Minnesota. We've had an election in the United States. There are wars throughout the globe. People close to me feel the heaviness and fear of laws changing and protections falling and the experience of hate is on the rise for them. I can show up for myself and for my people, from a place of love. 

I do the runs as best I can and sometimes I run well and sometimes it's a bust. Sometimes I miss it altogether. I connect and love and support the best I can and sometimes I miss the opportunity altogether. But, I do the best that I can in the moment that I'm in. 

At mile 62 of the Leadville 100 two years ago, I broke down in tears to my crew and exclaimed, "I'm not an athlete!" I was emotionally zapped from the climbs up and over Hope Pass, it was now nightfall, and I had been slogging through miles via a power hike instead of my desire to run. 

My sweet wonderful crew reminded me that I was 62 MILES INTO A FOOTRACE IN THE MOUNTAINS -- the mere fact that I showed up and was doing this meant I was an athlete. They reminded me that I was doing the best I could, in the moment I was in, and that was all that was needed. 

(Wild where the mind can go!)

Bandwidth may be slim and the winter presses on. 

But there is hope in the ways we can walk the walk, the ways we can still keep showing up, the ways we can sweat or cry or laugh together. 

We are all Athletes -- simply because we are here, showing up in it all, as best we can. Regardless of what our minds trick us into believing ♥️

Just show up. 

xo

Barbara

Join my efforts in showing up here: https://lnkd.in/g8p_jtzq