A Story About the Negativity Bias 🏃‍♀️‍➡️

The treadmill underfoot was beginning to glisten. 

My sweat dropped onto the belt with every slapping footfall as my arms pumped, fueled by the duty of interval training. I was on rep 3 of a 4x1mile workout session. My calves were on fire, my quads were fatigued, and my lungs were working pretty damn hard. I was about to finish my second-to-last rep and soon the workout would be over. My eyes bore down on the treadmill screen as I watched the numbers click upward toward the mile marker. 

I clicked the speed paddle up, once. The belt quickened. My brain did a little freak out: "Slow down, drop it down, no no no." My arms pumped all the harder and my legs went along for the ride. 

"Keep in it, stay on it, don't worry about what's to come," I scraped my mind to find some of these motivational reminders, anything to keep my legs moving. 

"You're done, this is awful, you'll never be fast or fit enough," the negative mind reared her head and I struggled under her weight. I wrestled out of her grip, only to have her re-emerge with a vengeance: "this is so hard, you can't do it!" 

20 minutes later, I finished that workout, as best I could. The outcome was nearly spot on to what I wanted -- I'd hit all the splits needed to improve my training and build my fitness for the London Marathon, which I am running in April. 

Yet, one of the first thoughts I had when I got off the treadmill and slogged my way into the locker room was, "That could have been better."

I've become more familiar with my inner dialogue. Running creates the perfect space for this. The positive thoughts emerge. The negative ones rear up. The doubts come along for the ride and the brain matches the pain that the body is going through. Everything, at some point, in the middle of the hardest part, screams at you to STOP, SLOW IT DOWN, JUST RELAX. 

But, when it matters to keep pushing, to bump up our intensity in life (or on the treadmill) we can build a reservoir of strength to draw upon when we most need it. 

We don't have to be a victim to our thoughts, during or after. We can notice where our mind goes; she's got a bias because she wants to keep us safe, secure, protected. But we can soothe her. We can embody the actions we most hope to take, as best we can. And we can tend to our hearts with a little compassion. 

As I stepped into the locker room and got myself ready for a cool, relieving shower, I paused in front of a mirror. I put a hand on my heart, rubbed my chest, and breathed out to my reflection: "That was just perfect." 

Doubts, negative thoughts, and fatigue are all part of any success story. Just because they are there, does not mean we are "doing it wrong" or failing or messing it up. It means we are human taking on a mighty life task. Negativity bias and all. 

My invitation? Notice it. Name it. Normalize it. Tend to it. 

And go and be great. 

xo

Barbara